“What should I be?”
It is a question I have been asked often by women I have mentored.
How should I speak?
What should my body language be?
How should I dress?
So I am taken seriously. So I am considered competent. So I am heard.
All while trying to deliver value, grow their careers, and prove themselves.
It’s exhausting.

My answer is always the same: Don’t play into it.
What matters most is knowing yourself.
How do you do your best work?
What communication style is most effective for you?

The moment you filter yourself through biased expectations of what women “should” be, it chips away at your confidence. And reshaping yourself to fit that mold? It can take years to undo.

Early in my career, I couldn’t picture myself as a leader; I didn’t see anyone like me. But over time, through delivering results and finding allies, I realized something important:

I didn’t need to fit the mold perfectly.
I could create my own. There was no way I could align with everyone’s expectations, so I had to align with mine.

It may sound cliché, but it is true: be yourself. It can be a risk, because you are one of the few. And it may be tempting to blend in.

But remember, every time someone leads authentically, a genuine reflection of their approach, it expands what leadership can look like for everyone.